Jessica Derhake author of 'Goodbye Starlight' a book to help children and families with grief

Jeff Williams:
Welcome to Community Voices, a production of NPR Illinois. In the studio with me today. Jessica Derhake (Der hak ee) am I saying that right?
Jessica Derhake:
Yes.
Jeff Williams:
I have Jessica in… It looks like you've published a book recently.
Jessica Derhake:
I have. So, it's a children's book, "Goodbye, Starlight" a little bit of an unconventional subject. It's a children's book on grief. I kind of wrote it out of necessity. About five years ago we had a terrible family tragedy. I won't go into it, but my children lost their four-year-old cousin. It was very difficult. And I kind of came from having a lot of anxiety about parenthood. And in my mind, prior to the accident, I never talked about death. I did (process it as) if (I was talking about) a battery (that) was dead. I would say the battery's empty. You never expect these things to happen, especially when your children are so young. And they had no language. They had nothing to process this grief with. So that started a lot of intensive family therapy, a lot of emotional processing, just trying to keep that trauma moving, getting out of their bodies. And then unfortunately, the Chatham accident occurred last year, and it brought a lot of that back for them. My son was in Ms. Britton's class. So Riley was his aide and she was amazing. He loved her so much and losing her was devastating.
Jeff Williams:
Oh my gosh.
Jessica Derhake:
And then my daughter knew a couple of the little girls, they weren't close, but it was enough to bring all of that back.
Jeff Williams:
I'm super sorry about all of that.
Jessica Derhake:
Thank you. Yeah, it's all these life things that you don't expect when you have children. You think of everything being happy and it's hunky dory. And then bad things happen and you have to figure out a way through. That's something that my grandfather always said, sometimes there's no way out but through.
Jeff Williams:
So a lot of this book, stemmed from this… that was the impetus for it?
Jessica Derhake:
Absolutely. Five years ago, I wrote the story. I mean, I was grieving myself. You know, my children and I have always had this thing that we do at night. We tell stories. We play, I call it ‘rigmarole’, tell a part of a story, then they'll pick it up. I'll add to it and we go back and forth. And we've done that their whole lives. This story, I said, “what I'm going to tell this story tonight?”… and it just happened. I wanted to connect this fairy tale to the idea of why someone would need to be gone and how to wrap your mind around the fact that they're never coming back. You know, sometimes we don't even know what to feel, much less a child who has no experience. So, I wrote the story, just the narrative itself back then. And then when the Chatham accident happened, it brought that back up and I started painting canvases to go along with the story. I do a lot of painting, a lot of art, a lot of crafting. And so as these canvases started to come out, I thought, you know, I could put these together, make a book, and maybe it could help in our community. And so that's what I did.
Jeff Williams:
Had you been inspired to… had you thought about writing a book before?
Jessica Derhake:
No, I'd never had thought about that. It was very organic.
Jeff Williams:
It just felt right after…
Jessica Derhake:
It felt right. It fell into place. And, you know, it was a good time. I just started a business in September of 2025. I had this time to really put myself into those places and those feelings again as I painted. So that a lot of the canvases express strong emotion. There's one in particular I'm thinking of and it's kind of a funny story. I thought I was done with the book, and I had a really good working draft, and my very good friend… she's a high-powered high level executive, professional. She's pretty B.A. And I said, hey, could you give this a proof (read through) for me? Tell me what you think. And she called me, I said, what do you think? And she said, “oh, it's great. It's perfect”. And I heard it (in her voice/tone). So I said…
Jeff Williams:
(you were like…) Come on, spit it out…
Jessica Derhake:
Right?! (and she said) Nothing, It's perfectly…. (and I said) but what? And she said, well, it's just this one little thing. (and I said) Okay, tell me what it is. And she said, I'm going to call you out a little bit. (I was like) Please do. That's why we're friends. And she said, I can tell at the saddest part, you rush. because you don't want to sit in that sad part. And so, the point in the book where they're saying goodbye, I just rushed right through it. And she said, “I know it's hard, but that's the point. You got to sit in it”. So the next day, I was like, all right, I'm going to do this. I'm going to split that page, the text in the two. I'm going to add a canvas, whole spread in the middle of the book. And I got so sad. I was thinking about all of the things. As I was painting, I just started crying. I'm painting and painting and it's this dark, stormy canvas. And by that early afternoon, I called her and I said, “I finished your canvas.
Jeff Williams:
Right…
Jessica Derhake:
And so she looked at it and she said, “No, we're gonna brighten that up a little bit”. (laughter)
Jeff Williams:
That's a little too sad. A little too… right?
Jessica Derhake:
But that ended up being my favorite canvas in the whole book because I mean I cried it all out while I was painting that and hopefully you really feel that.
Jeff Williams:
That's, it's good to have friends like that to really, you're coming from your soul perspective but then they're able to just add that, especially knowing you. They are able to pull that other part out that brings it from good to great, So that's, wow, that's powerful stuff for sure. Now, you mentioned you'd started a business recently.
Jessica Derhake:
Yes. It's called JD Haley People Strategies. It's an HR consulting firm. Basically, what I do is help small businesses who are too small to have their own HR department. I help them just set up their HR suite. So handbooks, policies, job descriptions, training, even annually required trainings. I come in and do those. I do a lot of professional development, leadership coaching, but very much geared towards that small to mid-size business.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, wow. Okay, that's cool. Well, if people wanted to contact you, how would they go about that?
Jessica Derhake:
So my website is...
Jeff Williams:
(Jessica accidentally hits the mic with her hand) She's a hand talker. She's a hand talker. She is hitting that mic. (laughter)
Jessica Derhake:
So my website is JDHaleyPS.com. You can also e-mail me at jd@jdhaleyps.com or my phone is area code 434-489-9697.
Jeff Williams:
Gotcha, right on. Well now back to the book, just for people who are listening, so they understand, when you mentioned canvases, you'd paint these canvases, that means it (ends up as the) illustration (or image) for a page in the book, just to...
Jessica Derhake:
So I painted all of the pictures in the book on big… 12x16 inch, wooden (frame bar stretched with) canvas.
Jeff Williams:
A wooden…
Jessica Derhake:
A wood frame.
Jeff Williams:
A wood frame, okay, gotcha, gotcha, yeah, (canvas) fabrics.
Jessica Derhake:
And then I just photographed them, did a really high resolution photograph, and then put that into the text and designed all the colors. And actually, another kind of fun fact about the book is I only used eight colors. I wanted it to be more monochromatic… (and) the theme to be very impactful with the colors. So, I was very intentional to only use those eight colors.
Jeff Williams:
Gotcha. Were the eight colors like used on each?
Jessica Derhake:
I used, I believe, all eight.
Jeff Williams:
Colors on each one. Oh, nice.
Jessica Derhake:
And then the corresponding pages are those exact colors. So there are solid pages. Opposite each illustration, each one of those is one of the tubes, the colors that I had.
Jeff Williams:
Okay, gotcha, gotcha. Right on. So yeah, that was going to say the process of that, like when you first decided that you wanted to start, how did that work for you?
Jessica Derhake:
So, this was something that, because it's so personal, I wanted every step of it to be very intentional. There was never a time that I just rushed in and threw something on the canvas. I would sit and I would almost kind of meditate in what my purpose for this book was. What the intention was. And so that became my process as I would get into that space to either work on the canvases or edit the text or whatever.
Jeff Williams:
Well, that was my next question was going to be, which came first? The images, the illustrations, or the paintings, the canvases that were going to be used as illustrations in the book? or sometimes the words came first or how did that kind of flow?
Jessica Derhake:
The words came first. The words came from just telling that bedtime story that night. And I remember thinking, I better write that down because that seemed to really connect for them, especially leaving the ending sort of, I don't want to ruin the story, but leaving the ending as a It's open for interpretation. There's a lot of intentional space left.
Jeff Williams:
That's good. Everybody's got their own reference points, so it's good to leave it where it's kind of open-ended like that for it to play into that person's experiences, you know?
Jessica Derhake:
And it makes it so the parents can tailor that story to their personal beliefs and experiences.
Jeff Williams:
Yeah, very cool. Are you from the Springfield area?
Jessica Derhake:
I am not. I grew up in the mountains of Appalachia.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, really? Appalachia. Oh, right on. I've been out there a few times just like riding bikes, you know, go out to like the Blue Ridge Parkway.
Jessica Derhake:
Oh, yeah. I grew up right off the Blue Ridge Parkway.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, did you really? Right, I mean, we'd go to Asheville a lot of times and actually a place, Blowing Rock, which was...
Jessica Derhake:
Yes. That is one of the places that I went during the summers, my childhood!
Jeff Williams:
Wow, that's crazy.
Jessica Derhake:
Hanging Rock and Blowing Rock were two places that we went and hiked when we were kids.
Jeff Williams:
You're one of the first people when I say (Blowing Rock, usually) they're like, oh, I don't (know). Yeah, it's pretty small, but it's way up there!
Jessica Derhake:
It's beautiful.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Really, really cool. So then how did you end up here then?
Jessica Derhake:
Well, I started out as a nurse. I was a nurse, tiny little North Carolina hospital for a couple of years. And I realized then that I am a very sensitive, empathic person. So that was very difficult. I felt every trauma, took everything home with me. And eventually I realized I need to be, I understand the system, so I need to be in the policy portion of things to make things better. Because otherwise, I'm in the mud with everyone and I'm not able to help. So, I like to say that I ran away with Barack Obama at that point. (laughter) I turned to politics, union organizing, I was a national traveler (and) worked for the National Nurses Union for a long time, 10 different states. Yeah, it was a bit of a whirlwind. And then my daughter came along and necessitated settling down something. Springfield was a great place. We chose to settle here, raise our kids. We live in Chatham.
Jeff Williams:
Well, once again, we're in the studio. with Jessica Derhake with her new book, and the title is...
Jessica Derhake:
Goodbye, Starlight.
Jeff Williams:
I know that you had book signing, Scoop Du Jour, out in Chatham, which is cool because a small art studio (Dim Art House) where we'd work with the APL, and we had where artists would paint some of the dogs and cats that they were trying to get adopted through the APL. We'd have an art show so people could come in and see the, well, meet the animals, because Jeff Cunningham would come with the APL trucks. So (people) could meet the animals, but then come inside (Scoop Du Jour), and see paintings or different illustrations of the animals… Sometimes people would come in and say, “I'm going to buy the painting and I'm going to go get the, puppy”, or something like that. A lot of the artists would then donate the paintings, at least a good portion of it to go back to the APL if people just buy it, even if they don't adopt. So that way it kind of helps the APL too. But Scoop Du Jour is absolutely (great). Yeah, and it will be coming up in July. Do you have any plans to maybe have another one in the Springfield area?
Jessica Derhake:
We may set up one more in the Springfield area. It hasn't come together yet.
Jeff Williams:
I know sometimes Monica, at The Wild Rose. I don't know if you know her, but she's usually really open and supportive of stuff like that. I'm not saying she's the only option, but...
Jessica Derhake:
She's on my list to call.
Jeff Williams:
Okay, yeah, I don't know if you know her, but I've met her once. She's good to work with for stuff like that, for sure. And it's right in the downtown area too, you know, so.
Jessica Derhake:
Yeah, that's awesome.
Jeff Williams:
Thank you. I'm just cutting it out. If you sound like an idiot, I'll cut. If I sound like an idiot, I might keep it. (laughter) All right. So, Jessica, thank you very much for coming in.
Jessica Derhake:
Thank you for having me.
Jeff Williams:
Once again, we're in the studio with Jessica Darhake, who recently self-published a book called “Goodbye, Starlight”. Community Voices is a production of NPR Illinois.