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This I Believe: A Not So Little Thing Called Forgiveness

Kiana Porter - Lanphier High School

The past is something that will always be there to push me forward. In my youth, my family struggled over many obstacles. My father was an alcoholic and got pulled over one too many times and was sent to prison.

My mom couldn’t afford to feed and take care of three children on her own and with each day that passed she kept fighting but sometimes it isn’t enough. We lost our home, and our sense of safety was snatched away because my father broke his promises of sobriety. 

Walking into that homeless shelter terrified me. We had nothing and moving in there made me feel like I was nothing. I hated my dad so much in those years. Because of his irresponsibility, we later moved into a bedroom at my babysitter’s house.

She abused the trust my mom had put into her to watch over her kids. Every time my mom had to leave for work, she transformed into a monster full of anger and hatred. She would force my sister to sit in a chair for hours, and whenever she moved she would get hit. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t because I was a scared and cowardly kid. I still remember the time that she dragged me up a flight of stairs and across a porch by my arm because I misunderstood what she said. I was just a kid who shouldn’t have had to worry about those things.

When my mom found out, she called the cops, and we had to move again. My dad got out of prison after a few years but we just couldn’t seem to get our feet on the ground so we had to constantly move. I had no friends, and I was just angry at the world. One of my biggest regrets is how I wasted so much time being unhappy. That was until I got a little older, and I realized that you can’t expect the world to hand you what you want on a silver platter. For example, look at my mom. She spent her entire life giving up everything she owned and cared about so we could be happy and have everything we needed.

So, I decided to learn a little thing called forgiveness. I forgave my dad for all of his past mistakes, and he found a job working for an extremely kind man. He still drinks and disappoints me, but I don’t let it bring me down. I know that life holds a bigger meaning. I believe in moving on in life. The past is in the past for a reason, so there is no reason to stop pushing forward.

Now I am in the top 1% of my class, my mom is the closest person to me, and I am about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime at an amazing college. Forgiving the past helps you move on to a bigger brighter future, this I believe.

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