I believe in the freedom of expression that art provides.
I grew up believing that art was constricted. Confined to the world of masterpieces, each finished piece better than the last. Improvement, perfection and dedication. Ways to become great – but not to express.
Making art had become a chore to create and complete. Looking back at my old sketchbooks now, I wonder how I turned something meant for the unfinished pieces into a gallery of “perfect” work.
It was probably around middle school when art seemed to open up. The world of media introduced me to the sketches, messy lines and mixed media that weren’t controlled by the rules of perfection. I started to incorporate this idea into my own sketches, and things didn’t need to be completed. Making art just to learn was the first step: Practicing poses in art class, learning to leave things unfinished because it didn’t have to be. Imperfections are what helped me learn, sketches more useful than any completed piece I made.
Still, I needed perfection.
It wasn’t until I started mixed media art that I truly felt that freedom. I continued to look online. I saw art without reason, no rules or restrictions. Anything could go on those pages and that idea confused me. How would someone even know if that art was good enough? Could it even be called art? And why did it look so fun?
I struggled with these thoughts for a while. I didn’t want to let go of the standard I set for myself, the unspoken rules that I didn’t want to break. However, curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to try out this messy art style.
It started easily: Messy sketches that I meticulously put, separated from one another, but still on the same page. Better, but not quite right.
Then I began to experiment. I thought about the emotions I put into each piece. How was I feeling? I saw so many others draw their emotions in a way that just felt right: No plan, no goal, just however the pencil moved.
So I tried it out. It had been a hard day, so I just stopped thinking and let the pencil move. That day I cried over my art for the first time. After that, adding more of the unconventional aspects became easier – and it became fun.
Art started to feel like an extension of me. It was my way of self-expression. Gaining that freedom in art helped me express myself better in my daily life. It created new pathways that I never had before. I love art and will always believe in the way that expression has changed who I am.
I will continue to create art that is messy, fun and full of life because it puts a little bit of who I am into each piece – and that in and of itself is what makes it my art.
