I believe in sewing. When I was a young child I often had to deal with abusive and toxic situations. I can’t count on my hands how many times I wanted to run away from it all. However, I would soon find my wonderful little escape…sewing. When I was nine years old I lost my great grandpa. I always looked up to him and I knew everyone else did too. After his death, I could only think about how horrible my great Grandma, his wife, must have felt. So I decided that I wanted to make her a gift and something for her to look at and smile. I took up my needle and thread for the first time and embroidered her a small tea towel. She was so happy when she saw it and still has it hanging up to this day. I felt proud and accomplished for the first time in many years, and from that day forward I was hooked.
I have often watched the needle on my sewing machine run in and out of the fabric like a rabbit running through the woods. I continue to find solace in watching it. Sewing is a very therapeutic hobby for me. Sewing allows me to escape and just dream of a happier future. Sewing is now a part of my daily life. Whenever I feel lost or depressed, my needle and thread sit waiting to listen. My hands have learned all new skills; my pillows and clothes have become more intricate. I feel proud of what I can do. Showing off my work makes me feel good and has helped immensely to restore my self-confidence. I am my own amazing person, but I needed that needle and thread to show me that.
I'm much older than I was when I started using sewing as a refuge, but sewing never left my heart or my hands. Sometimes I just love to watch the needle plunge deep into the fabric before quickly emerging back through the top. The gentle and simple motion of the sewing machine is relaxing and a beautiful reminder of just how far I have come and how far I have left to go. I know that whether by hand or machine, that sewing will always be there for me when I need it—my own little sanctuary.
This I Believe Illinois is NPR Illinois' annual essay program for Illinois high school seniors. An expression of where their minds are as they prepare to enter the adult world. This I Believe was started by radio journalist Edward R. Murrow in 1951 to allow anyone able to distil the guiding principles by which they lived. Special thank you to our sponsors: The Rotary Club of Springfield Sunrise, BLH Computers, Illinois Times, Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, and Mary Beth & Harvey M. Stephens.
