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New to the U.S., he struggled to find belonging. A fellow student changed that

When Teyu Chou was 11 years old, he immigrated with his family to the U.S. Feeling lonely in his new country, a fellow student stepped up and helped him adjust.
Teyu Chou
When Teyu Chou was 11 years old, he immigrated with his family to the U.S. Feeling lonely in his new country, a fellow student stepped up and helped him adjust.

When Teyu Chou was 11 years old, he and his family moved from Taiwan to the United States. He was excited about his new life, but also scared about not fitting in.

When he started school, Chou realized the transition was going to be much more difficult than he expected.

"Many times, sitting in the classroom, [I felt] very much alone, even though I was flanked by students left and right," Chou recalled.

Chou's primary difficulty was that he didn't know much English. Between the language barrier and unfamiliar cultural norms, he struggled to make friends, let alone participate in class. Lonely and overwhelmed, he'd often observe the other kids at school, wondering if he'd ever feel at home in this new place.

 "Many of them had existing friends, with topics that they talked about, toys they played with [and] TVs they watched together. But there I was, unable to even express the need to request to go to the bathroom."

Eventually, the school paired him with another student, a boy Chou remembers as being around 11 or 12 years old.

"He would take me to the school library, and amongst all the other kids who were sitting and talking and reading books, we would sit at a quiet corner of the library where . . . we would set up little stools. [Then] he would take out a thick deck of cards."

Each card had a picture of an object, like a pair of socks, a book, or a pencil. On the other side was the name of the item spelled out.

"He would . . . quiz me repeatedly day after day. And as an 11-year-old boy, I felt at times very impatient with the lessons. I felt left out at times seeing how other kids were playing in the playground."

The lessons sometimes left Chou frustrated and self-conscious. Back in Taiwan, he had been fluent in Mandarin; now he was learning how to spell "pencil" and say "bus." But every time Chou struggled, his peer would respond with kindness.

"He would pull me back [to the present] gently and encourage me to keep going."

Teyu Chou with his children, Evelyn and Evan
Teyu Chou /
Teyu Chou with his children, Evelyn and Evan

Chou's family immigrated to the U.S. in 1999. He's now fluent in English, with children of his own. When his kids are struggling, he thinks of the boy who helped him.

"The level of maturity and grace that he exhibited as an 11- or 12-year-old boy is just inspiring," Chou said.

"The fact that he was willing to sit with a fellow student who [was] very much not the coolest kid in the class, who didn't share any similar interest, but . . . [was] willing to be there for me at such a vulnerable but fundamental stage in my life — I feel so much gratitude to him."

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Autumn Barnes