Tawny Newsome and Jack Quaid join house musician Jonathan Coulton in a game where Meatloaf songs are rewritten to be about vegetarian meat substitutes.
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JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: This is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.
OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Thanks, Jonathan. We're playing games with the stars of the new "Star Trek" animated comedy "Lower Decks" - Tawny Newsome and Jack Quaid. OK, are you ready for another challenge?
JACK QUAID: Let's do it.
TAWNY NEWSOME: Yeah.
EISENBERG: So yeah, our next game is dedicated to our vegetarian listeners. Jonathan Coulton will sing you the clues in this music parody game called Meatless Loaf.
COULTON: So we have replaced the lyrics of Meat Loaf's greatest hits with lyrics about popular vegetarian meat substitutes.
COULTON: So to earn a point, just tell us the meat substitute that I'm singing about or the song that I'm parodying or just name any meat - is also fine.
NEWSOME: All right, OK.
QUAID: OK, great.
COULTON: So we are going back and forth, starting with Jack.
COULTON: (Singing) Cremini, porcini, portobello stroganoff is somehow very meaty. So don't be sad 'cause dried chanterelles ain't bad.
COULTON: Mushrooms is correct.
COULTON: That is absolutely right.
COULTON: Do you know the song?
QUAID: I actually - oh, man. It's one of those things where I never really know a song until I hear the chorus of it. Maybe that was the chorus. But, Tawny, help me out with this.
COULTON: It was, but it had words about mushrooms. So it's distracting (laughter).
NEWSOME: What if I - I don't remember the fake words, but what if I was just like (vocalizing).
EISENBERG: There you go. Yes, yes (laughter).
QUAID: "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad."
EISENBERG: That's right.
COULTON: Yeah, that's right. You got it.
COULTON: Tawny, I liked that hint method of just singing the vowels of the thing.
QUAID: Yeah. (Vocalizing).
NEWSOME: Try to, yeah. And then just saying the last word in full, just bad.
NEWSOME: (Vocalizing) Bad.
QUAID: I heard ain't bad crystal clear.
COULTON: We're all just helping each other out here. That's all.
QUAID: Yeah. It's fun.
COULTON: All right, Tawny, this one's for you.
COULTON: (Singing) Will you put this soy right into my mouth? Oh, I like it fried with seeds of sesame. So please put that soy right into my mouth. Soft or silken, extra firm, so white and cubey (ph).
NEWSOME: That's got to be tofu, and that's got to be "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth," my man.
EISENBERG: Oh, wow.
COULTON: Yeah, that's right. You got them both. Well done. All right, Jack, this is for you.
QUAID: Oh, man.
COULTON: (Singing) And I would eat Beyond Meat for lunch. Eat boca between the buns for lunch. I'd grill a Doc Praeger's up for lunch. But won't I eat Pat because my cow is named Pat.
EISENBERG: Patricia, right? Pat for short, but Patricia.
COULTON: Yeah, it's short for Patricia.
QUAID: Oh, that's adorable. OK. It's - the song is "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" - sorry, parenthesis, "But I Won't Do That," end parenthesis.
EISENBERG: (Laughter) Nice.
COULTON: Thank you for punctuating.
QUAID: All right. I'm going to say veggie burgers.
COULTON: Yes. Veggie burgers is correct. That's right.
NEWSOME: I like that Doc Praeger got a mention in there. Doc Praeger getting props.
COULTON: Little shoutout to Doc Praeger.
NEWSOME: People sleep on the DP.
EISENBERG: I like a FieldBurger, if you don't know that one.
QUAID: Oh, those are good.
EISENBERG: Jack, did something just fall from the ceiling onto your head?
QUAID: Yes, it did. I have...
COULTON: Please tell me it's a prop from a comedy show.
QUAID: I have little foam pads in here, and sometimes - I didn't really hang them properly.
QUAID: It's OK. They just kind of lightly fall.
QUAID: It's the best.
COULTON: All right. Tawny, this one's for you.
COULTON: (Singing) Beige legume from long ago, making my falafel dough. In my hummus, on my gyro, chana masala, love you so.
NEWSOME: OK, wait. So it's like a garbanzo, falafel...
COULTON: It is very much like a garbanzo because it is a garbanzo bean.
NEWSOME: OK. I'm struggling with the song, though.
EISENBERG: Oh, yeah.
NEWSOME: Yeah. I guess I don't know that many Meatloaf songs, which I guess I'm not surprised at.
COULTON: And I'll just - I'll tell you what the song is. This song is called "Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul."
QUAID: Oh. (Singing) Hot Patootie, Bless My Soul.
COULTON: Yeah, that's right.
QUAID: (Singing) I really love that rock 'n' roll.
EISENBERG: (Singing) Rock 'n' roll.
NEWSOME: That's familiar.
COULTON: Yeah. He loves rock 'n' roll.
NEWSOME: Can we do this game with Stevie Wonder songs? Because I would absolutely dominate. I would wipe the floor with everyone.
EISENBERG: Jonathan, shoot - they can give us three minutes, and we'll just come back with that.
COULTON: (Laughter) Yeah. Give me a few minutes, and let me just retool this game.
QUAID: We'll wait. We'll wait.
COULTON: We took Stevie Wonder songs about meat...
NEWSOME: Everyone's like, what's the connection?
QUAID: It's in the same order of, like, meats as well. It's like, we just get them right every time.
COULTON: It's just - yeah (laughter).
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EISENBERG: You both did great once again. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, Tawny Newsome. Thank you so much, Jack Quaid. What a pleasure.
QUAID: Thank you for having us.
NEWSOME: Thank you. This was the best.
EISENBERG: Tawny and Jack started the animated series "Star Trek: Lower Decks," streaming now on CBS All Access.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.