Chitaia Stover and Perspectives Counseling Services LLC offers A space to be fully you

Jeff Williams:
Welcome to Community Voices, a production of NPR Illinois. I'm your co-host, Jeff Williams. In the studio with me today, Chitaia Stover, owner of Perspectives Counseling Services LLC. So, I got your first name right and then I blew the last name.
Chitaia Stover:
Perfect first name.
Jeff Williams:
Chitaia, tell us a little bit about what brings you in here today.
Chitaia Stover:
Okay, so I saw the thing on Facebook and nominated a ton of people because there's so many great professionals in this area. But just kind of getting on here to talk a little bit about mental health, specifically in the black community, and just kind of talk about my So I recently just opened my own private practice.
Jeff Williams:
Nice. So, you have a physical space then?
Chitaia Stover:
Yes, I have an office. Yes, it looks very nice, very like personality field. I always tell people you're going to get a therapist with a personality. I'm going to talk back.
Jeff Williams:
Yeah, where’s it located at?
Chitaia Stover:
So, it's over on Dirkin Drive, so it's right off of Veterans in that little area. There's like a Taco Gringo by it and anytime anyone asks me I'm like there's a dumpster and a Taco Gringo.
Jeff Williams:
A dumpster and the Taco Gringo right there.
Chitaia Stover:
What road is that… Monroe?
Jeff Williams:
Monroe.
Chitaia Stover:
Veterans, right before you get to Koke Mill.
Jeff Williams:
Durkin, not Dirksen. Okay, now.
Chitaia Stover:
That little intersection into Koke Mill.
Jeff Williams:
I totally know exactly where you're talking about now. Right on. So, you're the owner of Perspectives Counseling Services LLC. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
Chitaia Stover:
So, the name, I'll start with that. It feels basic sometimes. But I really do believe in Perspectives and the mindset you have. For example, I had a pretty rough childhood growing up. And there was one point in my life that I was like, I'm not going to go very far. I don't need to plan for the future because this is as good as it gets right here. And then one day, like this intervening moment, this person kind of helped me through that. And it was like light everywhere and a shift and I was like, wow, life can get so much better than this and I have so much more to live. So, then it became like this motivation and determination to just do a lot of stuff.
Jeff Williams:
It's great to have a person who gives you that spark. You know what I mean? It's like people need to really keep that in mind too, that even if they don't know it, they can influence and affect positively somebody, even if they don't know it, like you're saying in your case.
Chitaia Stover:
That woman that helped me! Her name was Whitney. She was a social worker, and I was going to (Springfield) Southeast (High School) at the time. So had a lot of mental health issues. Like I've struggled with mental health since I was 8… which… I feel like most people don't know that you can be depressed at 8. I was a very depressed 8-year-old child and throughout middle school, (there was) bullying. I lived in Texas at that time. So, it was a lot of bullying and race issues. So, I decided to start high school here (in Springfield) at Southeast HS. And I moved in with my grandma, kind of left my mom and my siblings behind. And things were better for a little bit, kind of adjusting. Then I kind of started to fall back into like the same depression and anxiety. At that time, I didn't know much about mental health. I just thought, wow, I feel so different. Like everything around me feels dark all the time. Then, I found this (social) worker, and she would come and visit me at school and she wouldn't push me on anything. She was just there to talk to me. And one day I got comfortable enough and I said, “Hey, I've been struggling for a long time. Let me tell you all about it.” From that point forward, that really put me in access to the resources I needed, which was asking for help.
Jeff Williams:
And you said that it was at Southeast High School? OK, so she did she work through the school?
Chitaia Stover:
No, I think she worked with SAS and I forget what that is, but she was a SAS worker, so she was assigned to me.
Jeff Williams:
So, she'd come into the schools and check on, people and stuff like that? Well, that's, the thing, you never know how much something like that can affect can affect a person. So that's always good to try to be positive with people at any time because you don't know how it can help or save somebody sometimes.
Chitaia Stover:
And I was one of those people that if you ask anybody ever, they tell you probably that I was strong. That I was outgoing, that I was a helper. And, that image …. (with) everyone viewing me one way… like this very positive, outspoken, bubbly person… (but) on the inside feeling like… “No, everything sucks all the time. Like I don't want to talk about any of this”. Those 2 contrasting images, where I saw myself one way but everybody else saw me this (other) way. And I (started to think), well, maybe I'm making it all up. Like maybe it's all in my head. So just having her there and being a support for me and like having her like even just educate me about mental health and circumstances, things like that, just things that no one had talked about before. I was like, this is not normal. Like I just thought it was normal the whole time. But I was like, this is not normal. Let me tell you about it.
Jeff Williams:
With that, in a way, you have to almost also feel this inner extra pressure because everybody else thinks you're this way. So, you're then internalizing this stuff and thinking, no, I've got to let everybody just think everything's okay. So, then it's like, you've always got to put on this… game face, or whatever for people.
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, it's like, let me put this mask on for today.
Jeff Williams:
And that's tough.
Chitaia Stover:
There was so long of wearing that mask that I did not know who I was as a person anymore. I didn't know what I liked. I didn't know if my friends were really my friends. Do I even want to be friends with these people? I have no idea. And I consider myself a really empathetic person. So, a lot of it for me was… I didn't want to burden other people. Oh, like my mom, for example. I was like, wow, from the outside, your life looks awful. Like I'm not going to tell you all this other awful stuff and then have to have you deal with that on top of everything else.
Jeff Williams:
Right, yeah, that's a tough thing. Well, if you're okay with this, can you talk about what part of Texas were you in?
Chitaia Stover:
So, we lived in Midland, Texas for about 5, six years. I moved like a year before the rest of my family moved out there. We went there from Indiana.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, so Indiana before that.
Chitaia Stover:
And then Chicago before that. We moved around A lot.
Jeff Williams:
Okay.
Chitaia Stover:
And when we moved to Texas, I had never gone to the same school for more than one year.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, wow.
Chitaia Stover:
Every single year we moved. And we grew up really poor. My mom was a single mom.
Jeff Williams:
You were from Chicago area originally?
Chitaia Stover:
Yes, but don't ask me anything about Chicago. I can't tell you a thing. I grew up on 110^th St., and that's all I know.
Jeff Williams:
Right, yeah. Oh yeah, I was in a band that toured a lot and I remember we'd be out like if we were on the East Coast or something like that. And I'd say, well, we're from Springfield, Illinois… but then it was just like blank stares. So, I was like, well, it's south of Chicago. And then as soon as I'd say that, they're like, oh, do you know the such and suches who live on 69th and Pulaski? I'm like, no, I don't. How would I possibly know that person? (laughter) There are millions and millions of people. Anyhow, sorry about that.
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, same in Texas. It's like, oh, like, do you like deep dish pizza or like, did you do this? (laughter) And I'm like, not everyone that is from Chicago does just all those things.
Jeff Williams:
Exactly, So you were in Texas. I'm sorry.
Chitaia Stover:
Midland.
Jeff Williams:
Midland.
Chitaia Stover:
So it was about 5 hours from Dallas, Texas. I forgot the distance from Odessa, but it was like desert Texas, like West Texas.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, West Texas. That's what I was going to ask. Okay, yeah, it was out away from the other side, like Houston and (Austin).
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, so a little oil filled town. And like the reason we lived there is because my granddad was living there at the time and he's originally from Belize. And so, Texas was a good spot to get back and forth for him to travel home and then also still live in the States, which he's back in Belize full time now and has been for a while. But it was a good experience. We haven't had a lot of contact with him growing up.
Jeff Williams:
Because Sure, the back and forth. definitely. So then you made your way up here and then at what point was it in high school when you started to think that you maybe wanted to get into this field?
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, I would say like the age of 17. Like that's when like light bulb moment, kind of got the resources I need, got the help I needed. My grandma is a social worker. So, I always had that experience with her growing up too, but she specialized in the sexual abuse. Her career was in DCFS. And so, I knew that aspect of it. And at that time, I thought, I never wanted to do that. That sounded hard.
Jeff Williams:
Right.
Chitaia Stover:
So then I started discovering like, there's other types of social work to do. Like I don't have to (do that type of) social work.
Jeff Williams:
Right. and a lot of it, she can't even really talk to you about it too much. Probably, so for multiple reasons. So, it's like you didn't even really know, even though she did it.
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, like you're coming home from work stressed out. You're telling me not to do this, and this, no sleepovers, no this. And I'm like, okay, all right.
Jeff Williams:
Something's out there. I'm not sure what it is. but okay, but maybe I want to go a different direction.
Chitaia Stover:
Yes.
Jeff Williams:
But so, you then, so then what was your path like after that?
Chitaia Stover:
So, the path after that is when I was 17, I then decided I wanted to go to college. So, I like started looking at places, talking to like the guidance counselors at school. Also, that was like my junior year, I had to move over to (Springfield) Lanphier High School because we moved houses.
Jeff Williams:
Oh, to Lanphier, okay. Yeah.
Chitaia Stover:
But the guidance counselors were really great. And so, they helped me a lot. We got my applications in, got my fees waived because like that was a barrier. I cannot pay application fees. So, I ended up getting accepted to like 3 schools, one in Wisconsin, Bradley, and then UIS. And I did my bachelor's at UIS.
Jeff Williams:
Okay, yep, nice.
Chitaia Stover:
First year, I double majored in teaching and in social work because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do still. Because I was like, well, teachers can help kids too. And so, I did both programs very quickly in the teaching program. I was like, I don't ever want to do a lesson plan. I was like, yep, like we're going to go fully social work. And through there, like the professors in that program are amazing. They're supportive, they're empathetic, they're there for you, they help educate. And so, I learned that way that I could do therapy, like I could do more clinical stuff without like a psychology degree.
Jeff Williams:
Right, on. So, how long have you had your physical location?
Chitaia Stover:
So only since last October.
Jeff Williams:
Oh really? So it's pretty new, exciting!
Chitaia Stover:
I'm such a perfectionist. So I'll get something looking the way that I want. This is perfect. My whole life has changed. And then like a month later I need to rearrange it. (laughter)
Jeff Williams:
You need to do something more.
Chitaia Stover:
Yes. But like having clients with stuff like, okay, like I can't make a ton of changes. I'll like to move this and I'll move that.
Jeff Williams:
Right.
Chitaia Stover:
I'm like, okay, like let's just rearrange everything. But my office, very peaceful, very comforting. Like I genuinely just enjoy sitting in there.
Jeff Williams:
Nice. So, what was it like (when you got to the point where) your first client that you had came in? Like you're kind of like excited about and ready for this. It's like, okay, this is the first, here we go!
Chitaia Stover:
So I'm a person first, human first. And I always tell people that I meet... I'll be like, just so you know, I'm super nervous right now. So, I might be really awkward. You might be really awkward. This entire session might be really awkward, (laughter) but we're gonna get through it and you're going to come back and it's all going to work out!
Jeff Williams:
Right.
Chitaia Stover:
So yeah, I'm like, you know what? This is new. Like, let's just get that out of the way. This is new. This is my first time doing this by myself. And like most people are also just willing to fumble through it with me. (laughter)
Jeff Williams:
Well, and that is another good thing about it because if you try to put up some sort of a front of like a confidence that maybe isn't quite there yet because it's a new thing, but people are helpful. It's like they're helping people are helpful and they are nice. It's compared to trying to be like I know exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm going to try to project that. And the other person's like, okay, I'm not.
Chitaia Stover:
Yeah, it's like, it's not comfortable. I don't want to be here. I really feel like I am being open with them and me showing up as just me helps them be open with me. And it helps them know, okay, like you're a human too.
Jeff Williams:
Exactly.
Chitaia Stover:
I'm anxious, but like, oh, like you get anxious too and you went to school for this for a really long time.
Jeff Williams:
Right, exactly. Because if not, it's like, I'm talking to like a statue or something like that. And they can relate as a person.
Chitaia Stover:
That connection is so important to me. So, kind of like I talked about being younger is like no one had ever taken the time to hear like what I was feeling and explained to me that was not normal. Like that was not a normal way to feel. No one talked about things like that. And so until someone was willing to talk about, hey, that sounds a little weird what you're explaining. Let’s investigate that some more. unless we're like connecting with other people and sharing our struggles, like people are not going to know. Like someone might be going through their whole life. Like, no, I felt this way my whole life and that's fine. Actually, there might be something we could do about that.
Jeff Williams:
Right.
Chitaia Stover:
Access to care is really important to me. There's not always like a lot of accepting people that are willing to just like accept you as you are. Whether that be like you come to therapy and you're not really ready to talk yet or you come to therapy and you just want to do it differently. A lot of what I do is always help people, I'm like for the closed off people, for the people that appear strong, but no one really knows that they're struggling. For the people that feel misunderstood, like I'm trying to explain myself to you, but like no one's getting it. For the people that just don't have a safe place to go. And so, I want to be that person. I want to be that safe space. I want to be that stability. I want to build an actual relationship with you, and I want us to connect on a person-to-person level.
Jeff Williams:
Right on. And so, if people are listening out there, let everybody know the name of your business and the address again.
Chitaia Stover:
The business is named Perspectives Counseling Services and the address is 975 South Durkin Drive, Suite 202.
Jeff Williams:
Right on. And oh, online presence?
Chitaia Stover:
I have a Facebook with that name. I have a website that I put a lot of work into… I have an Instagram as well. I feel like I'm a very social person and social media very present as well. Also my phone number, I'll just throw it out there, 217-282-5946. And you can text it too. So, I love that you can say, hey, can I have an appointment? And then I can reach out to you. So it kind of initiates the first step with not a lot of pressure on you to do it.
Jeff Williams:
Right on, right on. Well, once again, we're in the studio with Chitaia Stover.
Chitaia Stover:
Yes.
Jeff Williams:
Right on. And is there anything else you want to let people know. Anything you have coming up?
Chitaia Stover:
Nothing coming up yet. At some point, which I'm actively in the process of looking for spaces, but at some points I want to do like a fresh perspectives series where I like connect with community people and have them put on like free resource events. And so very community driven person. And so, trying to figure all of this out might take some time, but you can keep an eye on the website and my Facebook page for whenever I can finally get that set up.
Jeff Williams:
Love it, once again, Chitaia Stover, owner of Perspectives Counseling Service LLC, thank you so much for coming in.
Chitaia Stover:
Thank you for having me.
Jeff Williams:
Right on. Did that work out for you? Was that good, right?
Chitaia Stover:
Yes, it felt like a conversation, so that's good!
Jeff Williams:
Community Voices is events you might have missed in conversations with neighbors, artists, and area businesspeople. Suggest a guest or Comment at communityvoices@nprillinois.org. Get to know your neighbors with Community Voices at noon and 10pm and on demand at nprillinois.org. Community Voices is a production of NPR Illinois.