They say that what does not kill us makes us stronger. I have learned this is true, but a keyboard and a passion for music certainly don’t hurt either. Making music is what makes me feel entirely unique and special. When I sit in front of a piano I no longer feel helpless. Unlike the rest of my often-hectic life, I can dictate what happens and what is played. I have found that music is the greatest way to release my emotions. In the hardest period of my life I found great beauty. I believe in music. I believe in what music can do for a soul.
I can truly say that I’ve lived a pretty incredible life, but every life has its downfalls. Most of my life, I’ve been in and out of numerous hospitals leaving with a myriad of possible results. Surgeries, blood tests, MRI’s, pain killers, scopes, specialists, clear liquid diets, and nurses watching me around the clock; years of searching for an answer – Crohn’s Disease. As I grew older, I always felt a void not knowing who I am. At ten my mom started me on the piano. All the Asian kids were doing it, so she wanted me to be just like them so we could cover up the sickness that I was engulfed with. She just wanted me to be the perfect little Asian that all the other Asian parents had. No pressure on me, huh? Wrong. I was stressed, depressed, lost, and broken.
I expressed my tears in minor adagios, my anger in loud chord progressions, and soon, my healing in hymns. I’ve come to the realization that everything happens for a reason. I believe that God turned something dreadful into something phenomenal. I believe He gave me the gift of music. I know that my piano could be the one thing that alleviates all my anger and sorrows. The key to hit next was the only thing I had to worry about; no school, no drama, no family, complete oblivion. Yet, people still never understand why I sit at my piano for hours upon hours.
Since my epiphany of my love for making music, it has become my greatest joy in life. I started to accept the concept that I was sick, and the repercussions it had on school and my social life. Music lets me convey my emotions and comforts me through hard times. Music is defined by my heart and the experiences I’ve had. It will always be there for me -- good times or bad. I believe that I could not have lived happily without the gift God gave me, music. Not only is it a stress reliever, but also it’s my antidepressant. I believe that music is my best friend, the one that kept me going when all I wanted to do was give up on life. I believe in music. Yes I do.