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Raising children? Have to deal with someone else's? Considering a family?Let's talk kids!Claudia Quigg hosts this weekly reflection on best practices, experiences, and research related to child rearing and parenting. Thursdays at 12:50 PM and 7:50 PM

Let's Talk Kids - "We Belong To Each Other"

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NPR Illinois | 91.9 UIS

While the rest of us watched from afar, the people of Charleston, South Carolina mourned the loss of friends and neighbors who died in the iconic Mother Emanuel Church in June.  The violence hit home for them in a way it didn’t touch the rest of us.

Part of my family lives in that beautiful city, including four of my grandchildren.  On the morning of June 18, my daughter and son-in-law explained the atrocity to their children as best they could with their assurances about keeping them safe.  But the children were naturally troubled. 

That night at bedtime, 4-year-old Joslin’s brow wrinkled in concern as she thought of preschool friends.  “Mommy,” she began tentatively.  “I’m thinking about my people I know who’s black.  I’m feeling worried for them.”

And at that, her mother felt a measure of hope.  Joslin was expressing the unity and empathy that will lead us to solve the racism still plaguing our weary world.

Joslin wasn’t worrying about herself, but instead was worrying about some of her people.  She aligned herself with friends who happened to have the same skin color as the targeted victims of this massacre.

In the weeks since, I’ve reflected on this great disappointment of my adulthood that we’ve not resolved the racial divide.  Progress comes in baby steps, far too slowly for many of us. 

Until all of us see this issue as Joslin sees it—that we belong to each other whatever our skin color—we’ll continue to struggle with the divide.  Only when we recognize that our own human rights are linked to those of every other person will we build a society based on Justice for All.

Parents hold the key to conveying this attitude to their own children in service of building peace.  Purposefully inclusive language and behavior from parents supports this respect for others in a way that affirms their children’s natural acceptance of differences in people.

As usual, little children lead us toward our future.  And while my own heart continues to be broken with each outburst of hate and prejudice, I have hope that Joslin and her generation will help us finally learn that we belong to each other.

Claudia Quigg is the Executive Director of Baby TALK and writes the Let's Talk Kids parenting segment and column that honor the expertise parents have about their own children and explores issues that are universal for families. From toilet training and sibling rivalry to establishing family values, Claudia Quigg provides thoughtful and accessible insights that are meaningful to families' needs.
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