Winter can be wicked, but the softer days of spring follow as a comfort. The hyacinth peeking out of the thawing earth demonstrates that universal truth that joy follows pain, sun follows rain, and some satisfying resolution follows most every difficult experience. If life teaches us anything, it should be to hope for better days.
Parents live in this rhythm of challenge and joy presented by the ever-changing natures of their children. Parents struggle through colic to one day wake up to a smiling, cooing baby. They’re blown away by toddler temper tantrums with the force of hurricanes, to then see their children become preschoolers who want to please their parents.
This pattern continues with challenges of school, sports and the social order their children and adolescents face. Parents bob along on waves of worry to be eventually replaced by smoother tides.
Parents eventually understand each problem will have a solution. The first time their child misbehaves at school, they panic. But they address the behavior, working with the teacher and offering constructive discipline to their child. Soon, they see the troubling behavior improve.
When their child has his heart set on playing sports but seems to have two left feet, they agonize about how to manage his disappointment. They can’t help but notice his ear for music and encourage him in that direction. Within months he moves from failure to success as he discovers this more appropriate avenue for his talents.
A teen daughter’s heart breaks when she’s excluded by her social group. Parents tell her life will be better, but they grieve to see their girl so sad. Weeks later, their daughter has a new friend, a full social calendar, and a smile on her face.
The natural path of human development is to always seek homeostasis, a tendency to stability. While the road of life is a rocky one, we instinctively move to the smoothest path. We work our way out of trauma toward peace, and the support of our parents helps in a powerful way.
This rhythm is a gift to seasoned parents who’ve lived through many such episodes. The perspective of the long haul provides the comfort that even in the midst of a winter of worry, parents can confidently hope that their family’s happiness will bloom again.
