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Raising children? Have to deal with someone else's? Considering a family?Let's talk kids!Claudia Quigg hosts this weekly reflection on best practices, experiences, and research related to child rearing and parenting. Thursdays at 12:50 PM and 7:50 PM

Let's Talk Kids: "An Unlikely Boast"

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NPR Illinois | 91.9 UIS

Forgive me a moment of bragging about my only grandson.

I visited Charlie a couple days after midterm grades were reported to parents. Charlie’s a pretty sharp guy and he especially shines in math.

Eager to hear about his progress, I asked about his grades. I noticed his parents' faces turn beet red as they exchanged a knowing glance.

"Charlie's in big trouble, Gam," remarked his concerned dad. "Tell her about math, Charlie."

With that, Charlie took a deep breath and confessed.  He had gotten a D in math.

Flabbergasted, I collected myself enough to ask him to tell me about that grade.  He explained that it's really his fault. He said he'd been messing around in class, not really applying himself at all, that he'd been putting little effort into his homework, and generally got the grade he deserved.

I asked his parents what they thought of the situation and they both responded with real consternation and a little bit of anger.  Fair enough. They see his capacity and are frustrated when he doesn't apply what he has.

But I see something entirely different. I see a kid owning up to his failure.

Charlie didn't try to justify the grade in any way. He didn't complain that the curriculum was too difficult or that all the other kids were struggling, too. 

He even refrained from trying to persuade me that the grade didn't reflect more recent, better work, even though a doting grandmother like me would have wanted to believe that.

Instead, Charlie took the full responsibility for the failure onto those bony shoulders of his. He completely accepted the blame and learned from his mistake.

As I look down the path into Charlie's future, I expect he’ll face lots more failure. Everyone who tries to achieve goals fails sometimes, but many folks try to wriggle out from beneath their failure, making excuses or blaming others.

Owning failure may not be part of the curriculum at Charlie's school, but it’s one of life’s great lessons.  So forgive me for bragging about my grandson's D. I can't help celebrating that Charlie may have learned something way more important than whatever he failed to learn in math.

 

Claudia Quigg is the Executive Director of Baby TALK and writes the Let's Talk Kids parenting segment and column that honor the expertise parents have about their own children and explores issues that are universal for families. From toilet training and sibling rivalry to establishing family values, Claudia Quigg provides thoughtful and accessible insights that are meaningful to families' needs.
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