Helpful advice has been offered to parents in every generation. In 1916, the author of The Mother and Her Child advised parents they should be careful to “handle the baby as little as possible. Turn it occasionally from side to side, feed it, change it, keep it warm and let it alone; crying is absolutely essential to the development of good strong lungs.”
In Night and Daytime Care of the Child (1928), parents were encouraged to employ a firm attitude in order to avoid raising their children to become wimpy adults: “Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit in your lap. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinarily good job of a difficult task.”
And a pamphlet published in 1953 offered these words for expectant women: “If you feel anxious during your pregnancy, you might relax with a cigarette and a glass of wine.”
While these bits of advice inspire chuckles now, they reflected values of the time. In every season, parenting is the vehicle by which a society carries its culture and beliefs into the future.
Parenting trends are also impacted by research. Alcohol and cigarettes during pregnancy may have been approved in 1953, but not since their negative effects have been discovered.
And recent brain research has put to rest any value of withholding affection to children. Brain development is powered by affectionate caregiving, and parents are encouraged to give it freely today.
Parents grow accustomed to having others tell them how to raise their children, but their own instincts are usually best. I appreciate the perspective of Dr. Benjamin Spock who assured parents, “You know more than you think you do!”
Spock continued, “The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they’ve come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.”
We have to wonder: In 2075, what 2015 parenting practices will bring laughter from those future parents as they consider our methods? Society will change, and we will continue to learn more about impacts on young children.
But one thing will remain the True North for parents. The voice in their own heads will give them the right answer for raising their own children.
