High holy days for a number of world religions are celebrated this time of year. The Jewish Passover, the Buddhist Theravada New Year, the Baha’i Ridvan, and the Hindu observances of both Ram Navami and Hanuman Jayanti.
The names of these holidays may seem foreign to many of us, but they represent significant family practices, based on centuries of beliefs and traditions. More familiar may Easter—the highest holy day for those who practice the Christian faith—also observed this time of year, and celebrated by many Americans.
In early adolescence, children are encouraged to step up to taking part in most of these religious traditions, and rightly so. This practice is based on the understanding that a child’s thinking changes at this age, giving rise to the possibility for a more adult understanding of religious concepts.
While little ones blindly follow their parents’ religious teachings, adolescents begin the arduous work of examining them and deciding about them for themselves. At this time, honest discussion around challenging questions supports kids’ emergent understanding.
Some families take seriously their role of ushering children through this significant passage. But other families back off from discussions about spirituality. They don’t share their own beliefs with their questioning young people, because they want them to grow up and decide for themselves.
Other parents worry about talking about their spiritual beliefs because they feel woefully inadequate for the task. They recognize they don’t have all the answers themselves so they avoid the discussion altogether.
And yet, when parents admit that they are unsure about a few things, kids get the message that life is a journey and learning continues throughout adulthood. This message gives them comfort when they’re also baffled about life’s great questions.
Kids who’re raised with a clear understanding of their parents’ beliefs may not embrace them all as adults. But the major lessons of love, mercy, redemption and hope—inherent in most religions—will add abundance to our kids’ lives. More than their SAT scores or the kind of car they drive as adults, these practiced values will create joy over the decades.
And our society benefits when the adults who lead it have internalized those lessons as well.
