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Panel Questions

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KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Paula Poundstone and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.


Thank you.


SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill is a man ahead of his rhyme in the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That is 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Paula, Hasbro is releasing a new version of Monopoly, this time just for whom?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: This really bothers me that they keep doing this.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: We have, by the way, the Chicago version. Is this one only for one person, you mean? Or one...

SAGAL: No. A particular kind of person.

POUNDSTONE: ...One demographic?

SAGAL: But as you point out, I mean, there's monopoly for Chicagoans and Monopoly for fans of this and Monopoly for fans of that.

POUNDSTONE: Absolutely, yeah.

SAGAL: So this is Monopoly, finally, for people who like to do what?

POUNDSTONE: For people who like to do something?


POUNDSTONE: Well, people like to play Monopoly, I assume.


SAGAL: Well, it is true. But it's actually - this is fun. It's for people who like to to play Monopoly but in a certain way.

POUNDSTONE: Oh. Nude Monopoly?


POUNDSTONE: It's for nude Monopoly players? Honestly, it's such a long game, I couldn't stay naked that long.

TOM BODETT: I know. You'd freeze to death.


POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I mean, eventually, it just becomes unsanitary.




POUNDSTONE: I don't know. Can you give me a hint, Peter?

SAGAL: Well, jeez. I mean, it's - I know you've played - if you play Monopoly, you've played with somebody like this. Like, they say, oh, I'm just getting a loan from the bank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, for people who cheat.

SAGAL: Yes, it's a Monopoly specifically for cheaters.


POUNDSTONE: Oh. Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes.

SAGAL: It's called Monopoly Cheaters Edition. Special cards give you the right to cheat by stealing from the bank or sneaking a hotel off the board or convincing the other players that a one-turn break on the rent on Baltic Avenue is the same as a permanent cut to the luxury tax.

POUNDSTONE: Wow. I think they should upgrade the prices, you know. Like, there's a chance card where the guy breaks his leg. Remember?

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: It's doctor's fee - $10.

SAGAL: Yeah.


BODETT: It's co-pay.

POUNDSTONE: Kids aren't even careful when they find that out.


SAGAL: But like the - like bank error - what is it? Bank error in your favor, $20?


SAGAL: Two hundred dollars? Oh. That's not...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, $200. Yeah. In fact, you could break your leg, like, 10 times - 20 times, I guess, with that kind of money - with that bank error money.


SAGAL: Well, this is what's interesting. So like, it gives you the right to cheat, but you still have to sneak it by the other players.


SAGAL: And if you get caught, they actually - they come with a little handcuff, and you get handcuffed to the board.


SAGAL: Never has something so kinky been so boring.


POUNDSTONE: I love Monopoly.

SAGAL: I figured you do.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I really do.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: I mean, I'm not a believer in this thing they're doing where they keep getting rid of the playing pieces and putting out new - I don't like that at all.

SAGAL: Right. You like the...

POUNDSTONE: I like the old - you know, kids should know what a thimble is.


SAGAL: All right. Helen, according to a recent study, researchers have found that there's a new easy way to help save the environment. What is it?

HONG: It's not recycling. That's too easy. Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Well, this is great. You can save the world and get to wear your pajamas all day.

HONG: By staying in bed?

SAGAL: Close enough - staying at home.



SAGAL: Yeah, yeah.


SAGAL: It turns out the size of your carbon footprint is directly linked to the size of your sofa buttprint.


SAGAL: Americans are staying home more than they used to, which the study says has reduced the nation's energy use by about 2 percent. We're using gasoline-powered vehicles less to go around. We're letting out less air conditioning when we open the doors. And we're emitting less carbon dioxide because we're not doing any of that wasteful talking to people.


SAGAL: And this is apparently, Helen...

HONG: Yes?

SAGAL: ...Another thing blamed - or credited - to the millennial generation.

HONG: Oh, man.

SAGAL: Yeah.

HONG: We suck.


HONG: No. We're - this is, like, the one good thing that we're good - like, that we're contributing to the world.

SAGAL: Yeah. You're killing everything else, but you're saving the planet.

HONG: Yeah. I mean, yeah. We're making everything, apparently, intolerable. But...


POUNDSTONE: But you don't leave the house to do it.

HONG: Exactly.


SAGAL: That's quite a skill.

HONG: Thank you.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I want to thank you.

SAGAL: So next time you make the move on somebody, just give them a call and say - hey, want to come over Netflix and save the planet?


HONG: I'm writing that down.


BODETT: No. This could work for me, too. You know, the wife - you know, we really - we should go out tonight. We should go out and have dinner with so and so. It's like, God, you know, I'm feeling bad about the planet.


BODETT: Maybe we should just stay home and really make a difference.

SAGAL: Yeah.


MORRISSEY: (Singing) Spent the day in bed. Very happy I did. Yes, I spent the day in bed. As the workers stay enslaved, I spent the day in bed. I'm not my type, but I love my bed. And I recommend that you stop... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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