PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, the big technology show CES is on right now, and one of the gadgets making a splash is a new $1,800 treadmill from a Korean company, specifically designed to help who lose weight?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Ah, cats.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
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POUNDSTONE: There you go.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Did you know that?
POUNDSTONE: No.
SAGAL: Why did you guess that?
POUNDSTONE: Because I just - thinking of a need that should be filled.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, you'll be thrilled.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
SAGAL: The treadmill is called The Little Cat. And you start by setting a weight target for your cat. But don't go crazy. You could stand to lose 10 pounds; that would make your cat disappear. Then, the treadmill plays messages like, here, kitty, kitty, and, when you become physically fit, humans will become your prey.
(LAUGHTER)
LUKE BURBANK: Sure.
POUNDSTONE: My cat Matilda was so fat that she couldn't have done a treadmill because just walking across the floor, she would go like, (meowing)...
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: ...Because she was so fat that it hurt her legs to hoist herself. Well, what was I to do? I mean, so I'm like, well, run over here, get on this treadmill. (Meowing).
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Wouldn't work at all.
BURBANK: I would absolutely watch a TV network that's only show was cats on treadmills.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Roxanne, this week, somebody got in trouble for accidentally calling 911. Where was this person?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: I think I read this some place. I'm going to need a hint.
SAGAL: Hi, my emergency is that I'm, like, 8 miles above the Earth.
ROBERTS: An astronaut?
SAGAL: An astronaut, yes.
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SAGAL: The Space Station is where they were.
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ROBERTS: Was this a butt dial?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So apparently, just like in your office, to dial out at the Space Station, you have to dial nine.
POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: And one particular astronaut dialed nine and then hit one and one. And the next thing you know, it was like, where's the emergency? And he's like, I'm in space.
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SAGAL: No one can hear me scream.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: That's where your Space Force comes in.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: I love the idea that there's a phone on there. Like, does it have a super long cord...
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: ...So, like, the teenage astronaut can go around into a different part of the Space Station and talk to her friends?
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Roxanne, this week, one woman in China woke up with a very rare condition. She can no longer hear what?
ROBERTS: Justin Bieber songs.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Not quite, no.
ROBERTS: No.
SAGAL: For many women, it wouldn't be so much a hearing problem as a hearing solution.
ROBERTS: She couldn't hear her husband.
SAGAL: She couldn't hear any men at all.
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SAGAL: The woman, identified in the news report as Ms. Chen, went to bed nauseous. She woke up feeling much better, with a calm stomach and a complete inability to hear her boyfriend speak. Chen went to the hospital and met with a specialist who explained, quote, "she was able to hear me when I spoke to her, but when a young male patient walked in, she couldn't hear him at all." That's right. The doctor was a woman.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Chen apparently lost the ability to hear low-frequency tones, so she won't be able to hear guys, or their sick beats, until she recovers.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We hope she enjoys her recovery. We have no idea how she's going to go through life without having men telling her how bitcoin works.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Wait; without having men tell her how everything works.
SAGAL: Exactly.
BURBANK: Well, actually, Roxanne.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.