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Raising children? Have to deal with someone else's? Considering a family?Let's talk kids!Claudia Quigg hosts this weekly reflection on best practices, experiences, and research related to child rearing and parenting. Thursdays at 12:50 PM and 7:50 PM

Let's Talk Kids - "Learning To Be Grateful"

Claudia Quigg headshot
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NPR Illinois | 91.9 UIS

We offer thanks for our abundance on the fourth Thursday in November each year.  Living in the United States, where food is plentiful and we are mostly free to live our lives in peace, there is much for which to give thanks on this truly American holiday. 

But the juxtaposition of Black Friday following on Thanksgiving’s heels highlights the jarring contrast between thankful hearts and rampant consumerism.  We scratch our heads in wonder at the irony of Thanksgiving being followed by our nation’s spending frenzy.  While we profess to being grateful, our actions surely speak more loudly than our words.  We fail to find satisfaction and instead are compelled to elbow our way through the crowds in our quest for more.

No wonder children grow up wanting every toy they see advertised.  They incorporate the values they see in their parents, including those priorities we would rather not teach. 

But mindful parents find an alternative to this compulsion for spending and getting, and it involves intentionally teaching children about gratitude.  We can write a better story on the hearts and minds of our children if we are able to commit to it ourselves.

One opportunity for this guidance is to find some mechanism for a daily recitation of everything we’re thankful for.  Recognizing our gifts and speaking them aloud marks them in the asset column in a child’s mind. 

Some families establish a routine of saying a blessing before meals, providing a time to remember to give thanks.  Such a recitation can also be part of a bedtime routine when many families pull together all the loose threads of the day, summarizing the day in a way that feels like a benediction as they remember events.

Research shows that for both children and adults, gratitude leads to more optimism and less depression and stress.  Teaching kids to appreciate what they have empowers them to become happier, healthier adults.

Ultimately, children who grow up learning gratitude usually become socially responsible adults.  When a child sees all the riches he is blessed with, he can’t help developing the feeling that he has resources to share.  Children who grow up aware of their gifts usually wind up living lives that bless others.

Claudia Quigg is the Executive Director of Baby TALK and writes the Let's Talk Kids parenting segment and column that honor the expertise parents have about their own children and explores issues that are universal for families. From toilet training and sibling rivalry to establishing family values, Claudia Quigg provides thoughtful and accessible insights that are meaningful to families' needs.
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